Sometimes I get really depressed and its hard to decipher whether it's my looming menstruation or a rush of all the things that disappoint me.
I'm really happy most days.
Not today.
Little things build up in a matter of hours and all of a sudden your keenly aware of how things seldom go your way. Waiting, half an hour for my husband outside his work, going to H&M and finding clothes that actually look semi cute but not being able to afford or fit into them they way your want regardless of how hard your think your working at the gym.
I know it could be worse. I've made progress. I'm just disappointed that I'm not farther along on my fitness journey I mean it's been months but at the same time I was and unfortunately still am overweight (and that's putting it nicely.) but hey at least I'm not where I started. so maybe it's not that bad.
It would be nice to not have to wait outside my husbands work to pick him up for half an hour after he tells me he's walking out. but there's no helping that.
that's two examples of a few other things. I guess the best I can do is keep pushing, keep trying, in hopes that some day I will be minimally disappointed and really proud of myself.
God I pray your remind me to eat better, keep exercising, keep being patient, and keep my eyes fixed on heaven.
Monday, January 12, 2015
Saturday, December 13, 2014
empty words
I used to promise myself that I wanted to make this blog come alive but there's something much too comforting about the anonymity of not following through on my promise. So I'm not. Life has been good to me lately. This year as a whole has been good. Losing my grandfather of course was hard but its amazing for him because he's in heaven. so maybe losing him makes it also a great year. Things are clearer now, my relationship with my dad is stellar, my husband and I rediscovered each other and possibly fell more in love. my son and I experienced what a school setting would be like. I also changed my major, worked a bit, took some pretty cool roadtrips, volunteered allot and discovered a new passion for fitness. Not to mention the biggest and absolute best part of this year, I was baptized and my relationship with Jesus Christ is at a level I never experienced before. None of these things would be possible if it weren't for my god.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
9 months later...
Wow! so much has happened and changed since March and I can't believe I haven't updated not once for 9 months! A baby could have been baked in that time! In fact a baby was! Our dear friends Michelle and Andy had a sweet little girl two weeks ago and her name is Madeline. Madeline is gorgeous and a little sister to Valentin's best friend, Liam.
So I guess in all that time I was away she was cooking. Our Austin trip was full of laughs, shopping, relaxing and eating! It ended up being a lovely time for the 3 of us and another road trip is already in the works for next spring. Unfortunately soon after we returned, my grandfather suffered a heart attack and was in a coma for 9 days before he passed away. Never in my life had I felt so comforted and loved by Jesus. I felt him so prominent, so near, It was the hardest time I'd ever had but I was not alone and I grieved the loss of my dear grandfather whom I named my son after.
Even though I knew he was in heaven, nothing can keep you from feeling the loss of a loved one. After he passed in early April, I had missed so much school from being at the hospital day in and day out, that I had to drop my classes. I had a very mean and heartless teacher who said to me "you say you've been at the hospital but you seem perfectly contrite to me." Couldn't believe how cruel she was. I threw myself into a new job I got at a daycare next to my house to get my mind away from loss. Valentin and I both stayed there for 5 months until school started again and I absolutely couldn't juggle work, school and my son anymore.
School has been great and I am taking my finals next week. I'll be off probation from financial aid so I can get help to pay for classes next semester and that god for that! School is expensive. Becoming a stay at home mom again was hard on Valentin and I both. I had used up most of my patience at the daycare and he had too. we had to learn to get along just us two again. Its taken a couple of months but we're finally back on a good rhythm. Play dates and managing our accounts along with a midday nap is really nice and I'm grateful that I can live like this for now.
The real reason I looked for an outlet to write today is because I came to a very valuable realization. Sometimes no matter how much you've been there for someone, or how much kindness and love you've shown them or abuse you've taken from them, it may never be enough to make them see you as someone worth respecting or treating fairly. Including and not limited to: you're own family i.e. your mom. Sometimes people demand respect from you and no matter how much you know you do respect them, they will still always expect to wipe their feet on you like a door mat. Through hospital stays, illness, recovering from surgery, even giving them rides when they need them. It doesn't amount to anything with certain people sometimes. That's when the epiphany dawned on me:
If all I've done for them cant even be remembered, appreciated or make them treat me decently, then nothing I could have ever done in the future would have made a difference anyway.
And then you're free.
I'm smarter than I was 5 minutes ago and so grateful to have learned this tonight. I may be at the very beginning of understanding things but at least I'm starting to make sense of things. I'm not like "omfg I'm tough now don't trust nobody f the world" kind of deal haha, I'm just really glad I can see 20/20.
So I guess in all that time I was away she was cooking. Our Austin trip was full of laughs, shopping, relaxing and eating! It ended up being a lovely time for the 3 of us and another road trip is already in the works for next spring. Unfortunately soon after we returned, my grandfather suffered a heart attack and was in a coma for 9 days before he passed away. Never in my life had I felt so comforted and loved by Jesus. I felt him so prominent, so near, It was the hardest time I'd ever had but I was not alone and I grieved the loss of my dear grandfather whom I named my son after.
Even though I knew he was in heaven, nothing can keep you from feeling the loss of a loved one. After he passed in early April, I had missed so much school from being at the hospital day in and day out, that I had to drop my classes. I had a very mean and heartless teacher who said to me "you say you've been at the hospital but you seem perfectly contrite to me." Couldn't believe how cruel she was. I threw myself into a new job I got at a daycare next to my house to get my mind away from loss. Valentin and I both stayed there for 5 months until school started again and I absolutely couldn't juggle work, school and my son anymore.
School has been great and I am taking my finals next week. I'll be off probation from financial aid so I can get help to pay for classes next semester and that god for that! School is expensive. Becoming a stay at home mom again was hard on Valentin and I both. I had used up most of my patience at the daycare and he had too. we had to learn to get along just us two again. Its taken a couple of months but we're finally back on a good rhythm. Play dates and managing our accounts along with a midday nap is really nice and I'm grateful that I can live like this for now.
The real reason I looked for an outlet to write today is because I came to a very valuable realization. Sometimes no matter how much you've been there for someone, or how much kindness and love you've shown them or abuse you've taken from them, it may never be enough to make them see you as someone worth respecting or treating fairly. Including and not limited to: you're own family i.e. your mom. Sometimes people demand respect from you and no matter how much you know you do respect them, they will still always expect to wipe their feet on you like a door mat. Through hospital stays, illness, recovering from surgery, even giving them rides when they need them. It doesn't amount to anything with certain people sometimes. That's when the epiphany dawned on me:
If all I've done for them cant even be remembered, appreciated or make them treat me decently, then nothing I could have ever done in the future would have made a difference anyway.
And then you're free.
I'm smarter than I was 5 minutes ago and so grateful to have learned this tonight. I may be at the very beginning of understanding things but at least I'm starting to make sense of things. I'm not like "omfg I'm tough now don't trust nobody f the world" kind of deal haha, I'm just really glad I can see 20/20.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
March brings the wind
been a little while since I've updated but I can't seem to get writing out of my system and I'm not sure I even want to! Tumblr used to be a pretty good outlet for writing for me but it just didn't feel personal, plus I NEVER got anything done once I started scrolling so I deleted my account. It's always been important to me to keep in touch with myself and "check in" so to speak and writing has aways been it for me. So I'm back and like any person who's hopeful to keep a promise, I say this time is for real.
Valentin turns two this Saturday. These past couple of years have been so good to us and I am beyond grateful to god that I was blessed with the most amazing family. Valentin is talkative and a little demanding! But extremely polite. He always asks "please" and never forgets to say "thank you" Yo Gabba Gabba helped a bit with those magic words. Valentin stopped nursing about two months ago and I would be lying if I said it wasn't difficult on us both. It really only took a few days to wean him however, I felt like we were losing our special bond. I felt like nothing was going to fill that void and we would forever be different. On the second day I had an uncontrollable sobbing fit and when I say uncontrollable I'm not exaggerating. I was walking into the shoe store to pick up some sweet sandals I found the day before for 80% off plus my friend and old co-workers discount. I walked in, face wet, eyes red and blubbering lips. My girlfriends laughed a little at my hormonal crying but they were sweet and consoling so I left a little bit better than I arrived, sandals in hand.
We're having a small gathering on Sunday even though his birthday is on the 8th. For his first birthday we pushed all the way to June so we could have a warm pool party at our local aquatic center. Valentin ended up sleeping through his whole party we forget to snap any photos and the pool was so full we barely swam! So this year we're not pushing it by much understandably so! Our local Zoo is unveiling an intricate new tree house and we may just mosey over on Valentin's birthday with a celebratory cupcake and two candles on them.
We planned a road trip in a couple of weeks to Austin. This is our first going to Austin, ever. pretty embarrassing considering we've been Texans our whole lives! But we're making up for lost time and making the most out of this mini vacation. We've booked a beautiful hotel in downtown Austin, we know where the food trucks are, and we are going to do some serious shopping. I don't think there's another little family quite as fond of food trailers as we are. We like really love truck food...
This month is also my Mom's wedding. She's finally marrying the man of her dreams and I'm immensely happy for them both. he's a country guy and we all absolutely adore him and took an instant liking to him, even and especially Valentin. His name is Eric and He's the football coach at the school my mother teaches at,the rest is history now. The wedding will be in a vineyard. casual chic. My sister and I are wearing beautiful cream colored dressings and our husbands are going to be wearing Tuxedo's. Valentin and my two little brothers will also be tux clad. There's going to be live music gourmet sit down dinner and wine on a starlit patio. I absolutely cannot wait! I have to make head pieces for my mom, my sister and I and I'm positively stuck.
I started teaching kinder sunday school at my church this month as well and I absolutely love it. Teaching children is so rewarding and fun. The church has a curriculum that teaches about the bible in a way the young children can understand and I absolutely love it! I consider myself so lucky to be able to get this experience because ultimately when I finish school I'll be teaching elementary school so this is truly the best hands on experience I can get right now. Plus I get to serve god so it's a major win-win.
I started the application process this week for my old job at the shoe store and I hope all goes well. It's a part time position and I think Valentin and I are both ready. School has been pretty demanding also with Math and English Tuesday and Thursday mornings, I'm keeping up without a hiccup though and I'm so grateful that Valentin and Chris get to spend time together while I'm at school. Chris and I have been looking for a home for a while now and we're really going to narrow it down at the end of this month after our Austin trip. Living with my in-laws was fun and helpful when Valentin was a baby, but now it's pretty crowded. we can barely fit each of our clothes and shoes in here. So it's time to set off now as a family, we're ready.
I can't wait to share everything here, I promise this time will be different.
Valentin turns two this Saturday. These past couple of years have been so good to us and I am beyond grateful to god that I was blessed with the most amazing family. Valentin is talkative and a little demanding! But extremely polite. He always asks "please" and never forgets to say "thank you" Yo Gabba Gabba helped a bit with those magic words. Valentin stopped nursing about two months ago and I would be lying if I said it wasn't difficult on us both. It really only took a few days to wean him however, I felt like we were losing our special bond. I felt like nothing was going to fill that void and we would forever be different. On the second day I had an uncontrollable sobbing fit and when I say uncontrollable I'm not exaggerating. I was walking into the shoe store to pick up some sweet sandals I found the day before for 80% off plus my friend and old co-workers discount. I walked in, face wet, eyes red and blubbering lips. My girlfriends laughed a little at my hormonal crying but they were sweet and consoling so I left a little bit better than I arrived, sandals in hand.
We're having a small gathering on Sunday even though his birthday is on the 8th. For his first birthday we pushed all the way to June so we could have a warm pool party at our local aquatic center. Valentin ended up sleeping through his whole party we forget to snap any photos and the pool was so full we barely swam! So this year we're not pushing it by much understandably so! Our local Zoo is unveiling an intricate new tree house and we may just mosey over on Valentin's birthday with a celebratory cupcake and two candles on them.
We planned a road trip in a couple of weeks to Austin. This is our first going to Austin, ever. pretty embarrassing considering we've been Texans our whole lives! But we're making up for lost time and making the most out of this mini vacation. We've booked a beautiful hotel in downtown Austin, we know where the food trucks are, and we are going to do some serious shopping. I don't think there's another little family quite as fond of food trailers as we are. We like really love truck food...
This month is also my Mom's wedding. She's finally marrying the man of her dreams and I'm immensely happy for them both. he's a country guy and we all absolutely adore him and took an instant liking to him, even and especially Valentin. His name is Eric and He's the football coach at the school my mother teaches at,the rest is history now. The wedding will be in a vineyard. casual chic. My sister and I are wearing beautiful cream colored dressings and our husbands are going to be wearing Tuxedo's. Valentin and my two little brothers will also be tux clad. There's going to be live music gourmet sit down dinner and wine on a starlit patio. I absolutely cannot wait! I have to make head pieces for my mom, my sister and I and I'm positively stuck.
I started teaching kinder sunday school at my church this month as well and I absolutely love it. Teaching children is so rewarding and fun. The church has a curriculum that teaches about the bible in a way the young children can understand and I absolutely love it! I consider myself so lucky to be able to get this experience because ultimately when I finish school I'll be teaching elementary school so this is truly the best hands on experience I can get right now. Plus I get to serve god so it's a major win-win.
I started the application process this week for my old job at the shoe store and I hope all goes well. It's a part time position and I think Valentin and I are both ready. School has been pretty demanding also with Math and English Tuesday and Thursday mornings, I'm keeping up without a hiccup though and I'm so grateful that Valentin and Chris get to spend time together while I'm at school. Chris and I have been looking for a home for a while now and we're really going to narrow it down at the end of this month after our Austin trip. Living with my in-laws was fun and helpful when Valentin was a baby, but now it's pretty crowded. we can barely fit each of our clothes and shoes in here. So it's time to set off now as a family, we're ready.
I can't wait to share everything here, I promise this time will be different.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
THROWWWWWBACK!
In my never ending journey of self love and discovery I find myself missing home. When I say "home" I'm not referring to a place I lived, but the music and people I loved.
Marina.
Marina.
I met and became instant friends with Marina when we were 11 years old at vacation bible camp. She is one of the only people I can actually say shaped me into who I am. We never went to the same school but could not be kept apart we always had weekend sleepovers and sometimes I'd even stay the whole weekend and it was nonstop laughter. I even remember Spending holidays together thanksgiving and Christmas were shared; her family always embraced me as their own and I always felt like one of them. She is the sister I never had and even though we were the same age I always felt I was learning from her like a big sister. Staying up all night making hilarious videos and watching Lord Of the Rings and love scenes from movies was a funny pastime but we didn't care we had the best time! Years flew by and we became teenage girls with boyfriends and dramas. Slowly we grew apart. I missed our friendship but life had thrown us up in the air, left us in free fall for so long until we finally hit the ground and landed on opposite ends of the universe it seemed. It had been 3 years since we hung out and my god it was overdue.
We weren't even half done catching up but we only had so much time. It was nothing short of another silly and fun girls night just like before and it made my heart warm and even a little bit fuller. I can't wait to explore this new Grown up friendship with her because she was a missing piece and I feel like I got it back! In light of this reminiscing feeling I'm going back to my roots with my music also. I'm all about Mae and the Destination Beautiful album, Brand New deja entendu, and Death Cab For Cutie Transatlanticism too. It takes me back and it makes me feel 13 again and I love it, nothing else makes me feel more like myself or more sane.
I'm taking care of my grandma during the day its been a week since she had her knee replacement surgery. Its really great to be able to help and I really enjoy being there for my family. I know everyone says family will be there for each other and blood is thicker than water but its nice to actually prove it.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
3 best jams of the moment.
Lindstrom and Christabelle -Lovesick
Maximum Balloon -Tiger
Cheers Elephant - Peoples
They are hardly of the moment since these songs are far from new but they are still my top faves right now :D
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
pretty groovy.
So after some much needed soul searching I decided to go with my original idea and major in education.
I am a person who strongly believes in god and that each and every little thing that happens in our life all contributes to the big picture. I do believe in signs. I'll tell you what I mean.
a few weeks ago Valentin and I were leaving the grocery store and as always I can't keep my hands off my little man I'm constantly hugging and kissing him and tickling him because I adore him and can't help myself. I'm giving him a big kiss as I'm about to put him in his carseat and this older man sees me and he stops and says "You better kiss him as much as you can because they grow up so fast and you'll remember them this little and wonder where the time went!" I stopped and I said your right that's exactly why I'm staying home with him full time. He said "That's why I'm glad I was a teacher because when they were off so was I and I'm grateful for that time we had". This resonated with me and straight out of high school I always said I wanted to teach. My mom is a teacher one of my best friends teaches 1st grade, and the most influential person I ever met was a teacher of mine as well.
I believe it was a sign that the older man spoke to me because ultimately it was what he told me that helped me make my decision. I love my son and being off of school at the same time would be great. I want to make the most of these short years that I have with him.
My first 2 classes will be a remedial math class and English. The funny thing is Chris and I are possibly going to be in the same English class. He has to retake it and get an A to get into his Program in 2014 which is only months away! Being in the same class with him seems so strange since we've never really been in school at the same time ever. So when he told me he had to retake that class we both couldn't help but smile allot even after we tried to hide it! We've never seen each other in that kind of setting so its very new and exciting and...kinda hot!
I am a person who strongly believes in god and that each and every little thing that happens in our life all contributes to the big picture. I do believe in signs. I'll tell you what I mean.
a few weeks ago Valentin and I were leaving the grocery store and as always I can't keep my hands off my little man I'm constantly hugging and kissing him and tickling him because I adore him and can't help myself. I'm giving him a big kiss as I'm about to put him in his carseat and this older man sees me and he stops and says "You better kiss him as much as you can because they grow up so fast and you'll remember them this little and wonder where the time went!" I stopped and I said your right that's exactly why I'm staying home with him full time. He said "That's why I'm glad I was a teacher because when they were off so was I and I'm grateful for that time we had". This resonated with me and straight out of high school I always said I wanted to teach. My mom is a teacher one of my best friends teaches 1st grade, and the most influential person I ever met was a teacher of mine as well.
I believe it was a sign that the older man spoke to me because ultimately it was what he told me that helped me make my decision. I love my son and being off of school at the same time would be great. I want to make the most of these short years that I have with him.
My first 2 classes will be a remedial math class and English. The funny thing is Chris and I are possibly going to be in the same English class. He has to retake it and get an A to get into his Program in 2014 which is only months away! Being in the same class with him seems so strange since we've never really been in school at the same time ever. So when he told me he had to retake that class we both couldn't help but smile allot even after we tried to hide it! We've never seen each other in that kind of setting so its very new and exciting and...kinda hot!
Sunday, July 28, 2013
a night spent wet.
So it turns out there was a flash flood warning while we were out so the night did not necessarily go as planned.
The night ended with Chris clearing the dance floor and dancing up a storm it was definitely one for the books and only appropriate that all eyes were him on his special night.
I'll be registering for classes this week which I'm entirely excited about. Baby steps is the key at least the way I see it. Start with a couple classes now move on up little by little until Valentin is off to preschool; And make myself the successful entrepreneur boss bitch I always knew I was.
We've got family in from out of town this week. Sometimes I wonder if I'm completely crazy for wanting a little breathing room. My husbands family insists on doing EVERYTHING together ALL day EVERY day. I do love them but I wish we could get a little breather sometimes.
My sweet mama got this adorable onesie for little man
Son, I couldn't agree more!
The night ended with Chris clearing the dance floor and dancing up a storm it was definitely one for the books and only appropriate that all eyes were him on his special night.
I'll be registering for classes this week which I'm entirely excited about. Baby steps is the key at least the way I see it. Start with a couple classes now move on up little by little until Valentin is off to preschool; And make myself the successful entrepreneur boss bitch I always knew I was.
We've got family in from out of town this week. Sometimes I wonder if I'm completely crazy for wanting a little breathing room. My husbands family insists on doing EVERYTHING together ALL day EVERY day. I do love them but I wish we could get a little breather sometimes.
My sweet mama got this adorable onesie for little man
Son, I couldn't agree more!
Saturday, July 27, 2013
birthday festivities
Chris my one, my only, father of my son, husband and best friend. Its yo birthday!!!!!! 25 never looked so good honey.
Today deserves a special post because obviously its Chris birthday weekend and
We're going out tonight!
Friends will come from all corners of the city to our favorite Westside spots to celebrate our beloved Chris. If you read my blog then you know we rarely leave our son Valentin with a sitter (the sitter being my mother in law) I do love her and trust only her to watch our little man; But still I feel like as his mom its my sole responsibility to be with him entirely.
But on rare occasions like this I fully enjoy a night to unwind :)
So Our first stop will be our ultimate favorite Hope and Anchor. Personally I'd rather end the night there since its our fave but its birthday boys choice!
P.S. I can't choose which polka dotted items to wear tonight. Thought?
Today deserves a special post because obviously its Chris birthday weekend and
We're going out tonight!
Friends will come from all corners of the city to our favorite Westside spots to celebrate our beloved Chris. If you read my blog then you know we rarely leave our son Valentin with a sitter (the sitter being my mother in law) I do love her and trust only her to watch our little man; But still I feel like as his mom its my sole responsibility to be with him entirely.
But on rare occasions like this I fully enjoy a night to unwind :)
So Our first stop will be our ultimate favorite Hope and Anchor. Personally I'd rather end the night there since its our fave but its birthday boys choice!
P.S. I can't choose which polka dotted items to wear tonight. Thought?
Also this is my tumblr: la-sirena-la-mer.tumblr.com/
Friday, July 12, 2013
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
so much to say and nowhere to begin
Things around here have been go go go! Everything is moving so quickly and in so many positive ways. I feel like gushing just thinking about it. The last time I updated was back in May and I was so excited to go to our annual neon desert music festival. Well we went and we only really saw some of Wolfgang Gartner, Molotov, and Martin Solveig. We missed Best Coast :( but as music festivals go its always a swap amiright? I've been falling back in love with myself and its really cool because I haven't felt this happy with myself in a long time. The more comfortable I am being 100% myself the more I fall in love with the person I truly am. Its getting so much easier to live in my own skin and I love it. I'm so happy :)
I think I've mentioned my struggles with friends in the past but my problem was that I was putting all my eggs in one basket and well... it was a really shitty batch of eggs.... so I'm branching out and making new friends which is an entirely new concept to me but it is going exceptionally well! I have 2 entirely new friends and I chose to befriend them because I can see they have genuinely good hearts and are good people and we've been hanging out allot lately. But I've been talking to new people and being less afraid and everyone has been really sweet and receptive to me.
Valentin is doing really well he says new words every day it seems! He is so smart and I see more and more of his personality everyday. He is such an incredible little man and I feel lucky to be his mother. He's been having play dates with friends and he's learning a lot about social interaction. I pretty much get to see what it will be like if we decide to have another baby someday! I am not ready at all for a new baby and I'm doing everything I can to protect myself but it seems like we don't have a choice sometimes. By that I mean IUDs don't always work, the pill isn't foolproof and the shot.....well I am not even sure. I got a mini heart attack the other day when a friend of ours told u she had her IUD in when her Dr revealed she was pregnant. It made me feel like me being on the pill didn't even stand a chance. I'm happy with just my little man right now and I really hope it will stay that way.
I've been doing test prep all summer for the accuplacer. I plan on taking only a couple of classes this fall since Valentin is a little bit older now he nurses less so I can start on the college course. Its going to be a very slow ride and honestly I'm in no rush. My family is still priority one and being home to raise my son is the most important thing to me. That's why I'm only taking 1-2 classes depending on the length of time they last I don't want to be gone more than 2 hours a day; But I do undertsnad the importance of starting on a path now so by the time little man goes to pre school I'll be getting somewhere.
One thing I haven't been giving allot of attention to is my body... this is so not good and I hate feeling like I'm neglecting my physical well being but my god Its hard to fit it in! I own the P90X DVDs but I'm gonna be 100% honest I'm so intimidated by them that I haven't even started. I felt the same about crossfit but I carried through with that so i'm sure I can handle this, again it all ties into not having the time.
Studio Ghibli isn't something I've ever been interested in before but tumblr has really made them appeal to me so now I'm trying to watch them all!
Well this is everything in a nutshell and I have so much more to say but it is so late and I need sleep!
au revoir!
I think I've mentioned my struggles with friends in the past but my problem was that I was putting all my eggs in one basket and well... it was a really shitty batch of eggs.... so I'm branching out and making new friends which is an entirely new concept to me but it is going exceptionally well! I have 2 entirely new friends and I chose to befriend them because I can see they have genuinely good hearts and are good people and we've been hanging out allot lately. But I've been talking to new people and being less afraid and everyone has been really sweet and receptive to me.
Valentin is doing really well he says new words every day it seems! He is so smart and I see more and more of his personality everyday. He is such an incredible little man and I feel lucky to be his mother. He's been having play dates with friends and he's learning a lot about social interaction. I pretty much get to see what it will be like if we decide to have another baby someday! I am not ready at all for a new baby and I'm doing everything I can to protect myself but it seems like we don't have a choice sometimes. By that I mean IUDs don't always work, the pill isn't foolproof and the shot.....well I am not even sure. I got a mini heart attack the other day when a friend of ours told u she had her IUD in when her Dr revealed she was pregnant. It made me feel like me being on the pill didn't even stand a chance. I'm happy with just my little man right now and I really hope it will stay that way.
I've been doing test prep all summer for the accuplacer. I plan on taking only a couple of classes this fall since Valentin is a little bit older now he nurses less so I can start on the college course. Its going to be a very slow ride and honestly I'm in no rush. My family is still priority one and being home to raise my son is the most important thing to me. That's why I'm only taking 1-2 classes depending on the length of time they last I don't want to be gone more than 2 hours a day; But I do undertsnad the importance of starting on a path now so by the time little man goes to pre school I'll be getting somewhere.
One thing I haven't been giving allot of attention to is my body... this is so not good and I hate feeling like I'm neglecting my physical well being but my god Its hard to fit it in! I own the P90X DVDs but I'm gonna be 100% honest I'm so intimidated by them that I haven't even started. I felt the same about crossfit but I carried through with that so i'm sure I can handle this, again it all ties into not having the time.
Studio Ghibli isn't something I've ever been interested in before but tumblr has really made them appeal to me so now I'm trying to watch them all!
Well this is everything in a nutshell and I have so much more to say but it is so late and I need sleep!
au revoir!
Friday, May 24, 2013
Fest Best
So natuarally since i'm trying to figure myself out and i'm trying things on to see if they fit my blog is gonna change very often and probably the name of this blog also. Until i find something that fits for the long haul!
So tomorrow is the long awaited Neon Desert Music Festival!
We bought GA tickets this year, we did VIP last year andi'm not sure it was worth the 150 clams we paid. We did not get our free lunch or edible arrangments the separate bathroom was just as bad as the regular because there was literally 1 bathroom for all of vip and like 50 for general admission so that was dumb. Oh and you could drink for free but you couldn't take your beverage with you to enjoy the fest you had to finish it in vip i mean come on! Chris being the hustler that he is found a way around that though gotta love that man! So that ultimately influenced our decision to not do vip this year.
All the bands i want to watch are pretty much all after 9pm which works out pretty good for us because i didn't feel good about leaving our bub all day :/ made me feel selfish and not a great mom so this is a won win for us!
Here is the lineup In my personal opinion i don't think it will ever be as good as the very first year but hey agree to disagree!
My faves this year will probably be Molotov,Best Coast (come on ladies wouldn't you just die?!) Martin Solveig, and Wolfgang Gartner. I am smitten with a good beat and heavy low bass. I'm a EDM lover at heart i truly am but i still like a bit of everything. Speaking of EDM:
So tomorrow is the long awaited Neon Desert Music Festival!
We bought GA tickets this year, we did VIP last year andi'm not sure it was worth the 150 clams we paid. We did not get our free lunch or edible arrangments the separate bathroom was just as bad as the regular because there was literally 1 bathroom for all of vip and like 50 for general admission so that was dumb. Oh and you could drink for free but you couldn't take your beverage with you to enjoy the fest you had to finish it in vip i mean come on! Chris being the hustler that he is found a way around that though gotta love that man! So that ultimately influenced our decision to not do vip this year.
All the bands i want to watch are pretty much all after 9pm which works out pretty good for us because i didn't feel good about leaving our bub all day :/ made me feel selfish and not a great mom so this is a won win for us!
Here is the lineup In my personal opinion i don't think it will ever be as good as the very first year but hey agree to disagree!
My faves this year will probably be Molotov,Best Coast (come on ladies wouldn't you just die?!) Martin Solveig, and Wolfgang Gartner. I am smitten with a good beat and heavy low bass. I'm a EDM lover at heart i truly am but i still like a bit of everything. Speaking of EDM:
Totally looking forward to this one :D
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
classic
So i feel like somewhere in the past maybe 3 months i started really turning things around and for this i am so grateful to god. I am putting myself out there and not fearing so much and being more creative. I used to be so original and new and i kinda lost it along with myself across the years but i am back! In a way its like learning evrything all over again i used to reinvent myself consistently and i'm getting that kick back! What i love to do is thrift and bargain shop i get this itch to look for sunken treasure in the seconhand stores in my city and see how much i can get with very little money, i always come out a winner and there is no better a satisfaction! Also getting my ball rolling with college finally i know i am such a lame-o but i went to cosmetology school and finished that so thats at least something! Even though it didn't quite work out i will always have my beauty abc's in my back pocket. So among a ton of other things i'm planning on doing as my little Valentin is gettting older, I really want to bring this blog to life....for me. Because ultimately that who i work for, thats who i want to keep happy. You know what they say happy wife/mom happy life! And with that i'm investing in a dslr...or a smart phone. Truthfully whichever i can afford first haha! Mad Men is so good this season i'm smitten. Game of Thrones has really caught my attention also which is surprising because it never interested me before at all but its actually awesome! My favorite is of course Khaleesi aka the dragon queen (if you know me you know i'm obsessed with being a dragon queen)so naturally its my favorite part of the show :) I'll have more later but i'm getting my boys ready for bed.
until then!
until then!
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
revelations
I read over my last post and honestly i've come to the realization that i don't care.
I don't care if people hold onto the past because i'm not going to and honestly if people are that stuck in the past i wouldn't want them to give me a chance because they aren't the kind of people i want as friends anyway. Not just that but i have had this idea cemented in my head that i deserve it, I deserve people disrespecting me and freezing me out in the back of my mind i just say " you probably deserve it so just let it go". I confronted this feeling head on and realized i don't! Plain and simple i do not deserve to be treated like shit I am sweet person with a big heart and i give everyone a chance and thats the kind of people i want in my life. I take exceptional care of my family and i'm finally starting to take exceptional care of myself
because I deserve that.
I don't care if people hold onto the past because i'm not going to and honestly if people are that stuck in the past i wouldn't want them to give me a chance because they aren't the kind of people i want as friends anyway. Not just that but i have had this idea cemented in my head that i deserve it, I deserve people disrespecting me and freezing me out in the back of my mind i just say " you probably deserve it so just let it go". I confronted this feeling head on and realized i don't! Plain and simple i do not deserve to be treated like shit I am sweet person with a big heart and i give everyone a chance and thats the kind of people i want in my life. I take exceptional care of my family and i'm finally starting to take exceptional care of myself
because I deserve that.
Monday, April 15, 2013
1 month
I've been on such a strange kick lately. I want so much change i want to make and create lines but i want to break and destroy and build up and I don't even know how to explain it.
I've been thinking so much lately about this city and my past. when i was ALLOT younger i was kind of a brat and super bitchy. Its very unfortunate but people still hate me because of this. 6 or 7 years later and they still see me the same, allot of them just hate me because their friends say they do not because they know me or have ever had a conversation with me its the most unfair thing.
What makes things worse is some of chris closest friends also still see me this way. I am a much better person i mean come on that was so long ago and i've grown up and i've been for years but they see me the way they see me.
I wish i could just have a fresh start and a clean slate and if i mess things up or leave a bad impression now i can handle it because i got a fair shot but honestly i don't have that and i'm not very sure i ever will.
So i get this idea in my head that if i change what i look like and alter my appearance that i'll leave that bad rep behind and start over. I'm not sure this is healthy but it sure feels good to daydream about.
I've been thinking so much lately about this city and my past. when i was ALLOT younger i was kind of a brat and super bitchy. Its very unfortunate but people still hate me because of this. 6 or 7 years later and they still see me the same, allot of them just hate me because their friends say they do not because they know me or have ever had a conversation with me its the most unfair thing.
What makes things worse is some of chris closest friends also still see me this way. I am a much better person i mean come on that was so long ago and i've grown up and i've been for years but they see me the way they see me.
I wish i could just have a fresh start and a clean slate and if i mess things up or leave a bad impression now i can handle it because i got a fair shot but honestly i don't have that and i'm not very sure i ever will.
So i get this idea in my head that if i change what i look like and alter my appearance that i'll leave that bad rep behind and start over. I'm not sure this is healthy but it sure feels good to daydream about.
Friday, March 15, 2013
random
Ok so this is maybe very random and i haven't been updating much, i'm in the middle of a huge change and i can feel it. I love reading some blogs but it just seems like everyone is doing the same shit. Its all modcloth and bows and sock buns and shit. I'm not into it....Everyone does and says the same thing i am so uninspired. I stopped getting on tumblr as much even, theres hardly anything fun to see anymore! Even the funny stuff is kinda few and far between.
Currently have been loving GIRLS on HBO though especially this weeks episode when Marnie sang Kanye West and Daft Punk-Stronger in a really slow creepy way at her ex boyfriends office party hahahaha! Perf.
We've spent the past 8 days being sick seeing doctors taking medicine and kind of almost getting better. It has been rough to say the very least.
This means we were all sick for Valentins' birthday last friday, all weekend and at Yo Gabba Gabba live, and every other day this week. I was disapointed because we bought the Yo Gabba tickets to celebrate Valentins birthday and all of us being sick kind of took away from the specialness of the occasion. We're all starting to feel better now i just wanted to make my little guy so happy and its just a real shame he was not feeling well on his special day.
I cannot believe it has been a year since i had my little boy, its been insane and wonderful all together, every day and i'm so glad that he's here, I thank god more than a few times a day for this amazing little guy.
Chris has been working later and sleeping more and he's super crabby all the time now i mean i don't blame him his schedule sucks right now i'm supportive, i still take him lunch every day but we've definitely had better times.
I spent all of wednesday with my good friend Melanie we hung out at her house for a good while then went to target because i had to buy a gift for our friend Sandra (aka my hero) She started teaching 1st grade this year and recently bought a house so she's having her housewarming party this saturday. I picked out a few things from her registry and one item that wasn't but i know she would totally love so i took it also. Melanie and I picked chris up during his lunch and we all had sushi little man loves miso soup so he had no complaints. Afterwards we dropped chris back at work and the 3 of us went to the park i was pushing Valentin on a swing while Mel and i just talked until it was dark. Spending the day with her was awesome bu now she's off with Amanda to Austin for SXSW which is awesome! I'm so excited for them plus Melanie could potentially be moving there pretty soon so she'll be scoping things out in the down time.
Currently have been loving GIRLS on HBO though especially this weeks episode when Marnie sang Kanye West and Daft Punk-Stronger in a really slow creepy way at her ex boyfriends office party hahahaha! Perf.
We've spent the past 8 days being sick seeing doctors taking medicine and kind of almost getting better. It has been rough to say the very least.
This means we were all sick for Valentins' birthday last friday, all weekend and at Yo Gabba Gabba live, and every other day this week. I was disapointed because we bought the Yo Gabba tickets to celebrate Valentins birthday and all of us being sick kind of took away from the specialness of the occasion. We're all starting to feel better now i just wanted to make my little guy so happy and its just a real shame he was not feeling well on his special day.
I cannot believe it has been a year since i had my little boy, its been insane and wonderful all together, every day and i'm so glad that he's here, I thank god more than a few times a day for this amazing little guy.
Chris has been working later and sleeping more and he's super crabby all the time now i mean i don't blame him his schedule sucks right now i'm supportive, i still take him lunch every day but we've definitely had better times.
I spent all of wednesday with my good friend Melanie we hung out at her house for a good while then went to target because i had to buy a gift for our friend Sandra (aka my hero) She started teaching 1st grade this year and recently bought a house so she's having her housewarming party this saturday. I picked out a few things from her registry and one item that wasn't but i know she would totally love so i took it also. Melanie and I picked chris up during his lunch and we all had sushi little man loves miso soup so he had no complaints. Afterwards we dropped chris back at work and the 3 of us went to the park i was pushing Valentin on a swing while Mel and i just talked until it was dark. Spending the day with her was awesome bu now she's off with Amanda to Austin for SXSW which is awesome! I'm so excited for them plus Melanie could potentially be moving there pretty soon so she'll be scoping things out in the down time.
Monday, March 4, 2013
the desert is alive
Chris and I are planning our little mans 1st birthday party!!! His birthday is this friday the 8th, but we're having his party in April because our families will be vacationing over spring break. We decided on an indoor aquatic center with an INSANE kiddie pool I took one look at it and I knew our little man would be in heaven. Valentin was snoozing in his stroller during the tour so he didn't get a chance to see it. This little boy loooves to be in the water, I can't to see him having a blast!
El Paso is having a WXSW next week at Lowbrow and Black Market
I'm dead set on being there the 9th and 22nd. Bulletproof Tiger has been one of my top 3 fave local bands for years now they are amazeballs. They always perform in these Tiger masks and they sound so groovy, its my favorite sound. Neon desert music festival is coming up also which we have been going to since the first show in 2011. That first lineup was ideal, at least for us. CSS,Omar Rodriguez Lopez,Designer Drugs, MSTRKRFT and lots more. Last year we bought VIP tickets which was ok honestly we didn't get as many of the perks that were supposed to come with it, and the lineup was kind of dissapointing there was very little variety, but i did enjoy The Twelves, Yacht, and Ghostland Observatory. This years lineup will be announced this wednesday and i hope its better than last years, then i guess we'll decide if the VIP admission is worth it.
El Paso is having a WXSW next week at Lowbrow and Black Market
I'm dead set on being there the 9th and 22nd. Bulletproof Tiger has been one of my top 3 fave local bands for years now they are amazeballs. They always perform in these Tiger masks and they sound so groovy, its my favorite sound. Neon desert music festival is coming up also which we have been going to since the first show in 2011. That first lineup was ideal, at least for us. CSS,Omar Rodriguez Lopez,Designer Drugs, MSTRKRFT and lots more. Last year we bought VIP tickets which was ok honestly we didn't get as many of the perks that were supposed to come with it, and the lineup was kind of dissapointing there was very little variety, but i did enjoy The Twelves, Yacht, and Ghostland Observatory. This years lineup will be announced this wednesday and i hope its better than last years, then i guess we'll decide if the VIP admission is worth it.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Changes
I'm so happy about the changes that are underway!! Chris is planning his schedule for next semester and he'll also be getting a new job with better pay and better hours(double win) which we are so glad about since the job he has now leaves little room for anything other than sleep. I know how much he wants to get back into the swing of things with crossfit and so do I! It all depends on his work schedule though and luckily that will be changing :)
My girlfriends Amanda and Melanie got backfrom their Vegas trip last night and were gushing about their trip. Amanda tells me the Chippendales show was the highlight of her trip she told me she wasn't really looking forward to it because she knew what to expect but once she got there she told me she was screaming and jumping and can't wait to see the show again. They told me they shopped and drank like crazy during the day which is what its all about during down time apparently. I also heard something about a party bus! I'm glad to have them back and we're all supposed to get together and have a night out this weekend so i'm looking forward to that plus they brought me back some prezzies i'm not gonna lie i'm a little scared as to what they may have brought back i don't want a banana hammock from the Chippendales show or anything ;) hahaha!
I've been doing allot for me lately, finally getting around to throwing out some of my clothes which i've had for too long to say on the world wide web (yeah that long) and i'm being much more careful picking out new clothes i try to stick to what i know i like and quality pieces that can be mixed and matched, quality over quantity. I've spruced up my makeup routine which i'm thrilled about! I've literally been doing the same eyeliner since i was in high school so i'm embracing this new change its perfect because i'm not the same person and its nice to finally start reflecting on the change on my appearance and not just my attitude and persepective. The next step is dyeing my hair I only want about a shade or two lighter but its still a big change i have the dye already I just want to be right in the middle of light and dark it has to be that perfect balance. Although I love contrasts its too intense to go back to being platinum/white blonde and black hair is too boring and impossible to get rid of so this will be my first in between.
I used to LOVE Tumblr so much all of my free time I'd be logged in and I used to cry from laughing so hard at the posts and memes, this was back in 2011. These days it feel like it has become a really negative place and chock full of pictures of models and the occult. I'm not into it. I just want to laugh! I rarely see anymore funny stuff and i have to scroll forever just to find one thing worth reblogging. Maybe i'm following the wrong blogs. Methinks i'm over it. I'm all about Pinterest these days. I've tried dozens of tutorials,DIYs, and shortcuts for every day life. Not to mention the amazing wonders of cocout oil! I've never been so inspired to clean or organize ever! Even chris has learned a thing or two from it. I have about a thousand activities and ideas saved for Valentin when he grows up too. I'm off to make Chris lunch its almost that time again!
My girlfriends Amanda and Melanie got backfrom their Vegas trip last night and were gushing about their trip. Amanda tells me the Chippendales show was the highlight of her trip she told me she wasn't really looking forward to it because she knew what to expect but once she got there she told me she was screaming and jumping and can't wait to see the show again. They told me they shopped and drank like crazy during the day which is what its all about during down time apparently. I also heard something about a party bus! I'm glad to have them back and we're all supposed to get together and have a night out this weekend so i'm looking forward to that plus they brought me back some prezzies i'm not gonna lie i'm a little scared as to what they may have brought back i don't want a banana hammock from the Chippendales show or anything ;) hahaha!
I've been doing allot for me lately, finally getting around to throwing out some of my clothes which i've had for too long to say on the world wide web (yeah that long) and i'm being much more careful picking out new clothes i try to stick to what i know i like and quality pieces that can be mixed and matched, quality over quantity. I've spruced up my makeup routine which i'm thrilled about! I've literally been doing the same eyeliner since i was in high school so i'm embracing this new change its perfect because i'm not the same person and its nice to finally start reflecting on the change on my appearance and not just my attitude and persepective. The next step is dyeing my hair I only want about a shade or two lighter but its still a big change i have the dye already I just want to be right in the middle of light and dark it has to be that perfect balance. Although I love contrasts its too intense to go back to being platinum/white blonde and black hair is too boring and impossible to get rid of so this will be my first in between.
I used to LOVE Tumblr so much all of my free time I'd be logged in and I used to cry from laughing so hard at the posts and memes, this was back in 2011. These days it feel like it has become a really negative place and chock full of pictures of models and the occult. I'm not into it. I just want to laugh! I rarely see anymore funny stuff and i have to scroll forever just to find one thing worth reblogging. Maybe i'm following the wrong blogs. Methinks i'm over it. I'm all about Pinterest these days. I've tried dozens of tutorials,DIYs, and shortcuts for every day life. Not to mention the amazing wonders of cocout oil! I've never been so inspired to clean or organize ever! Even chris has learned a thing or two from it. I have about a thousand activities and ideas saved for Valentin when he grows up too. I'm off to make Chris lunch its almost that time again!
Monday, February 18, 2013
I keep waking up around 3
This comes and goes but lately its been consistent. I lay in bed until Chris wakes up at 5 or 6 I make his breakfast and coffee so he can take it to school, bub is usually asleep through all this which makes it allot easier. I keep having these nightmares maybe i watch too many movies....
I watched Melancholia the day before that Asteroid was going to fly by, I swear i hadn't heard about it until after i watched the movie otherwise i would have steered clear! I know I've mentioned that i'm anxious and paranoid at best when it comes to doomsday stuff and end of the world theories. I can get a little carried away. I remind myself that God is with us always and we need only have faith and i get over it but the first thoughts are the heaviest. It was visually stunning. It was similar in the way it was filmed to Antichrist plus Charlotte Gainsbourg was one of the leads in that movie also, both are directed by Lars von Trier he's releasing yet another film with Charlotte Gainsboug as the main character called Nymphomaniac. That devastatingly handsome blonde Vampire from True blood was in Melancholia and will also be in his next film.
Life at home lately has been lovely. I've fully enjoyed staying at home with our son for the past year almost, I'm planning for morning classes in the fall i still don't feel great about leaving Valentin at daycare but the college offers childcare which i feel better about because at least we'll be close to each other and only apart for a couple of hours a day. I don't really want to go back to doing cosmetology again, i'm ready to study for something bigger. We are celebrating Valentins first birthday next month with tickets to Yo Gabba Gabba live! I can't wait to see the look on his little face to see his favorite characters in person. His teeth are all starting to come in at the same time it seems i guess its because he sprouted his first tooth just 2 months ago so they are all in a hurry to come in. I'm keeping the baby tylenol on hand even though he's hardly been fussy at all. I'll be starting to wean him off the breast late next month I know it is going to be difficult but the way i see it we really haven't even scraped the surface on the difficult things, this little boy has only been here a year lets give it another few and i'll be wishing things were as easy as they are now.
Wednesday last week i took advantage of an amazing deal on Fortyeight its a sister site to Solestruck my all time favorite shoe store. I've mentioned them before you really can't beat their prices and they always have the Jeffrey Campbells i'm pining for! Basically fortyeight has an event for shoes up to 80% off but only for 48 hours. This past wedenesday was their first event i believe and they featured Jeffrey Campbell, Doc Martens, Cheap Monday and Miista. So basically its first come first serve and once they are sold thats it. I was able to get these JCs at 40% off :)
All i have are heels and wedges from jc but no flats or sandals, this is an excellent point Chris made and pretty much talked me into taking them. I'm 5'0 and curvy which isn't the best combination so i'm always trying to look a little taller and longer.
My dear Grandfather, the original Valentin celebrated his birthday on Valentines day and we had a party for him on saturday at my aunts house. It was unequivocal bliss, they served "Cabrito" which is baby goat in spanish and its exactly what he wanted he was so happy the whole time and it lit my heart up. There was a young man there playing guitar and singing all the spanish favorites and each time we would clap and sometimes sing along. My little Valentin was getting an allergic reaction to something and kept rubbing his eye and it was getting red and swollen i didn't have his zyrtec with me so we had to go home but before we did i gave my grandfather his gift. There were 3 hand painted tins in the shape of a pineapple, a swordfish, and a boat each to remind him of Mazatlan Mexico his favorite place to visit, mine also. Our family used to vacation there reguarly but ever since My Grandfather was diagnosed with cancer at the end of 2010 there has been little to no vacations. I'm hoping God will allow us all to take a trip there together soon I want my son to see the ocean and i want to be there with my whole family and especially my grandfather.
I watched Melancholia the day before that Asteroid was going to fly by, I swear i hadn't heard about it until after i watched the movie otherwise i would have steered clear! I know I've mentioned that i'm anxious and paranoid at best when it comes to doomsday stuff and end of the world theories. I can get a little carried away. I remind myself that God is with us always and we need only have faith and i get over it but the first thoughts are the heaviest. It was visually stunning. It was similar in the way it was filmed to Antichrist plus Charlotte Gainsbourg was one of the leads in that movie also, both are directed by Lars von Trier he's releasing yet another film with Charlotte Gainsboug as the main character called Nymphomaniac. That devastatingly handsome blonde Vampire from True blood was in Melancholia and will also be in his next film.
Life at home lately has been lovely. I've fully enjoyed staying at home with our son for the past year almost, I'm planning for morning classes in the fall i still don't feel great about leaving Valentin at daycare but the college offers childcare which i feel better about because at least we'll be close to each other and only apart for a couple of hours a day. I don't really want to go back to doing cosmetology again, i'm ready to study for something bigger. We are celebrating Valentins first birthday next month with tickets to Yo Gabba Gabba live! I can't wait to see the look on his little face to see his favorite characters in person. His teeth are all starting to come in at the same time it seems i guess its because he sprouted his first tooth just 2 months ago so they are all in a hurry to come in. I'm keeping the baby tylenol on hand even though he's hardly been fussy at all. I'll be starting to wean him off the breast late next month I know it is going to be difficult but the way i see it we really haven't even scraped the surface on the difficult things, this little boy has only been here a year lets give it another few and i'll be wishing things were as easy as they are now.
Wednesday last week i took advantage of an amazing deal on Fortyeight its a sister site to Solestruck my all time favorite shoe store. I've mentioned them before you really can't beat their prices and they always have the Jeffrey Campbells i'm pining for! Basically fortyeight has an event for shoes up to 80% off but only for 48 hours. This past wedenesday was their first event i believe and they featured Jeffrey Campbell, Doc Martens, Cheap Monday and Miista. So basically its first come first serve and once they are sold thats it. I was able to get these JCs at 40% off :)
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My dear Grandfather, the original Valentin celebrated his birthday on Valentines day and we had a party for him on saturday at my aunts house. It was unequivocal bliss, they served "Cabrito" which is baby goat in spanish and its exactly what he wanted he was so happy the whole time and it lit my heart up. There was a young man there playing guitar and singing all the spanish favorites and each time we would clap and sometimes sing along. My little Valentin was getting an allergic reaction to something and kept rubbing his eye and it was getting red and swollen i didn't have his zyrtec with me so we had to go home but before we did i gave my grandfather his gift. There were 3 hand painted tins in the shape of a pineapple, a swordfish, and a boat each to remind him of Mazatlan Mexico his favorite place to visit, mine also. Our family used to vacation there reguarly but ever since My Grandfather was diagnosed with cancer at the end of 2010 there has been little to no vacations. I'm hoping God will allow us all to take a trip there together soon I want my son to see the ocean and i want to be there with my whole family and especially my grandfather.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Contrasts
Its taken me years but i can finally narrow down the best way to describe myself in the most accurate way.
I love contrasts.
So simple. I love one extreme and it's exact opposite, I am hardly ever in between I like both ends of the spectrum in every aspect of my life. I'm passionate about anything that i do and i'm drawn to passionate people whatever it may be that they are passionate about. Seeing that kind of genuine infatuation with something makes me giddy. I remeber once when cnn was on in the break room of the call center i was working at at the time i saw the protests all over the world and i fell so in love with them. This sounds weird and maybe its just the way i put things but, i really did. I saw this video today its a band called Urban Struggles they played a show here in El Paso last night and i caught this video on tumblr from another local. I saw it and i fell in love. Not because the singer is naked ok (i'm married and fucking crazy for my man) but there is passion here! The people here don't care what people think of them they are having a good time and they are passionate about the music. I love this. Plain and simple i fucking love the passion they have it is completely inspiring to me.
I love contrasts.
So simple. I love one extreme and it's exact opposite, I am hardly ever in between I like both ends of the spectrum in every aspect of my life. I'm passionate about anything that i do and i'm drawn to passionate people whatever it may be that they are passionate about. Seeing that kind of genuine infatuation with something makes me giddy. I remeber once when cnn was on in the break room of the call center i was working at at the time i saw the protests all over the world and i fell so in love with them. This sounds weird and maybe its just the way i put things but, i really did. I saw this video today its a band called Urban Struggles they played a show here in El Paso last night and i caught this video on tumblr from another local. I saw it and i fell in love. Not because the singer is naked ok (i'm married and fucking crazy for my man) but there is passion here! The people here don't care what people think of them they are having a good time and they are passionate about the music. I love this. Plain and simple i fucking love the passion they have it is completely inspiring to me.
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