I've been on such a strange kick lately. I want so much change i want to make and create lines but i want to break and destroy and build up and I don't even know how to explain it.
I've been thinking so much lately about this city and my past. when i was ALLOT younger i was kind of a brat and super bitchy. Its very unfortunate but people still hate me because of this. 6 or 7 years later and they still see me the same, allot of them just hate me because their friends say they do not because they know me or have ever had a conversation with me its the most unfair thing.
What makes things worse is some of chris closest friends also still see me this way. I am a much better person i mean come on that was so long ago and i've grown up and i've been for years but they see me the way they see me.
I wish i could just have a fresh start and a clean slate and if i mess things up or leave a bad impression now i can handle it because i got a fair shot but honestly i don't have that and i'm not very sure i ever will.
So i get this idea in my head that if i change what i look like and alter my appearance that i'll leave that bad rep behind and start over. I'm not sure this is healthy but it sure feels good to daydream about.
Showing posts with label Contasts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Contasts. Show all posts
Monday, April 15, 2013
Monday, February 11, 2013
Contrasts
Its taken me years but i can finally narrow down the best way to describe myself in the most accurate way.
I love contrasts.
So simple. I love one extreme and it's exact opposite, I am hardly ever in between I like both ends of the spectrum in every aspect of my life. I'm passionate about anything that i do and i'm drawn to passionate people whatever it may be that they are passionate about. Seeing that kind of genuine infatuation with something makes me giddy. I remeber once when cnn was on in the break room of the call center i was working at at the time i saw the protests all over the world and i fell so in love with them. This sounds weird and maybe its just the way i put things but, i really did. I saw this video today its a band called Urban Struggles they played a show here in El Paso last night and i caught this video on tumblr from another local. I saw it and i fell in love. Not because the singer is naked ok (i'm married and fucking crazy for my man) but there is passion here! The people here don't care what people think of them they are having a good time and they are passionate about the music. I love this. Plain and simple i fucking love the passion they have it is completely inspiring to me.
I love contrasts.
So simple. I love one extreme and it's exact opposite, I am hardly ever in between I like both ends of the spectrum in every aspect of my life. I'm passionate about anything that i do and i'm drawn to passionate people whatever it may be that they are passionate about. Seeing that kind of genuine infatuation with something makes me giddy. I remeber once when cnn was on in the break room of the call center i was working at at the time i saw the protests all over the world and i fell so in love with them. This sounds weird and maybe its just the way i put things but, i really did. I saw this video today its a band called Urban Struggles they played a show here in El Paso last night and i caught this video on tumblr from another local. I saw it and i fell in love. Not because the singer is naked ok (i'm married and fucking crazy for my man) but there is passion here! The people here don't care what people think of them they are having a good time and they are passionate about the music. I love this. Plain and simple i fucking love the passion they have it is completely inspiring to me.
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