so much to say and nowhere to begin

Things around here have been go go go! Everything is moving so quickly and in so many positive  ways. I feel like gushing just thinking about it. The last time I updated was back in May and I was so excited to go to our annual neon desert music festival. Well we went and we only really saw some of Wolfgang Gartner, Molotov, and Martin Solveig. We missed Best Coast :( but as music festivals go its always a swap amiright? I've been falling back in love with myself and its really cool because I haven't felt this happy with myself in a long time. The more comfortable I am being 100% myself the more I fall in love with the person I truly am. Its getting so much easier to live in my own skin and I love it. I'm so happy :)


I think I've mentioned my struggles with friends in the past but my problem was that I was putting all my eggs in one basket and well... it was a really shitty batch of eggs.... so I'm branching out and making new friends which is an entirely new concept to me but it is going exceptionally well! I have 2 entirely new friends and I chose to befriend them because I can see they have genuinely good hearts and are good people and we've been hanging out allot lately. But I've been talking to new people and being less afraid and everyone has been really sweet and receptive to me.


Valentin is doing really well he says new words every day it seems! He is so smart and I see more and more of his personality everyday. He is such an incredible little man and I feel lucky to be his mother. He's been having play dates with friends and he's learning a lot about social interaction. I pretty much get to see what it will be like if we decide to have another baby someday! I am not ready at all for a new baby and I'm doing everything I can to protect myself but it seems like we don't have a choice sometimes. By that I mean IUDs don't always work, the pill isn't foolproof and the shot.....well I am not even sure. I got a mini heart attack the other day when a friend of ours told u she had her IUD in when her Dr revealed she was pregnant. It made me feel like me being on the pill didn't even stand a chance. I'm happy with just my little man right now and I really hope it will stay that way.

I've been doing test prep all summer for the accuplacer. I plan on taking only a couple of classes this fall since Valentin is a little bit older now he nurses less so I can start on the college course. Its going to be a very slow ride and honestly I'm in no rush. My family is still priority one and being home to raise my son is the most important thing to me. That's why I'm only taking 1-2 classes depending on the length of time they last I don't want to be gone more than 2 hours a day; But I do undertsnad the importance of starting on a path now so by the time little man goes to pre school I'll be getting somewhere.

One thing I haven't been giving allot of attention to is my body... this is so not good and I hate feeling like I'm neglecting my physical well being but my god Its hard to fit it in! I own the P90X DVDs but I'm gonna be 100% honest I'm so intimidated by them that I haven't even started. I felt the same about crossfit but I carried through with that so i'm sure I can handle this, again it all ties into not having the time.

Studio Ghibli isn't something I've ever been interested in before but tumblr has really made them appeal to me so now I'm trying to watch them all!

Well this is everything in a nutshell and I have so much more to say but it is so late and I need sleep!

au revoir!

Fest Best

So natuarally since i'm trying to figure myself out and i'm trying things on to see if they fit my blog is gonna change very often and probably the name of this blog also. Until i find something that fits for the long haul!

So tomorrow is the long awaited Neon Desert Music Festival!

We bought GA tickets this year, we did VIP last year andi'm not sure it was worth the 150 clams we paid. We did not get our free lunch or edible arrangments the separate bathroom was just as bad as the regular because there was literally 1 bathroom for all of vip and like 50 for general admission so that was dumb. Oh and you could drink for free but you couldn't take your beverage with you to enjoy the fest you had to finish it in vip i mean come on! Chris being the hustler that he is found a way around that though gotta love that man! So that ultimately influenced our decision to not do vip this year.

All the bands i want to watch are pretty much all after 9pm which works out pretty good for us because i didn't feel good about leaving our bub all day :/ made me feel selfish and not a great mom so this is a won win for us!

Here is the lineup In my personal opinion i don't think it will ever be as good as the very first year but hey agree to disagree!

My faves this year will probably be Molotov,Best Coast (come on ladies wouldn't you just die?!) Martin Solveig, and Wolfgang Gartner. I am smitten with a good beat and heavy low bass. I'm a EDM lover at heart i truly am but i still like a bit of everything. Speaking of EDM:

 

 

Totally looking forward to this one :D

classic

So i feel like somewhere in the past maybe 3 months i started really turning things around and for this i am so grateful to god. I am putting myself out there and not fearing so much and being more creative. I used to be so original and new and i kinda lost it along with myself across the years but i am back! In a way its like learning evrything all over again i used to reinvent myself consistently and i'm getting that kick back! What i love to do is thrift and bargain shop i get this itch to look for sunken treasure in the seconhand stores in my city and see how much i can get with very little money, i always come out a winner and there is no better a satisfaction! Also getting my ball rolling with college finally i know i am such a lame-o but i went to cosmetology school and finished that so thats at least something! Even though it didn't quite work out i will always have my beauty abc's in my back pocket. So among a ton of other things i'm planning on doing as my little Valentin is gettting older, I really want to bring this blog to life....for me. Because ultimately that who i work for, thats who i want to keep happy. You know what they say happy wife/mom happy life! And with that i'm investing in a dslr...or a smart phone. Truthfully whichever i can afford first haha! Mad Men is so good this season i'm smitten. Game of Thrones has really caught my attention also which is surprising because it never interested me before at all but its actually awesome! My favorite is of course Khaleesi aka the dragon queen (if you know me you know i'm obsessed with being a dragon queen)so naturally its my favorite part of the show :) I'll have more later but i'm getting my boys ready for bed.

until then!

revelations

I read over my last post and honestly i've come to the realization that i don't care.

I don't care if people hold onto the past because i'm not going to and honestly if people are that stuck in the past i wouldn't want them to give me a chance because they aren't the kind of people i want as friends anyway. Not just that but i have had this idea cemented in my head that i deserve it, I deserve people disrespecting me and freezing me out in the back of my mind i just say " you probably deserve it so just let it go". I confronted this feeling head on and realized i don't! Plain and  simple i do not deserve to be treated like shit I am sweet person with a big heart and i give everyone a chance and thats the kind of people i want in my life. I take exceptional care of my family and i'm finally starting to take exceptional care of myself


because I deserve that.

1 month

I've been on such a strange kick lately. I want so much change i want to make and create lines but i want to break and destroy and build up and I don't even know how to explain it.


I've been thinking so much lately about this city and my past. when i was ALLOT younger i was kind of a brat and super bitchy. Its very unfortunate but people still hate me because of this. 6 or 7 years later and they still see me the same, allot of them just hate me because their friends say they do not because they know me or have ever had a conversation with me its the most unfair thing.

What makes things worse is some of chris closest friends also still see me this way. I am a much better person i mean come on that was so long ago and i've grown up and i've been for years but they see me the way they see me.

I wish i could just have a fresh start and a clean slate and if i mess things up or leave a bad impression now i can handle it because i got a fair shot but honestly i don't have that and i'm not very sure i ever will.

So i get this idea in my head that if i change what i look like and alter my appearance that i'll leave that bad rep behind and start over. I'm not sure this is healthy but it sure feels good to daydream about.

random

Ok so this is maybe very random and i haven't been updating much, i'm in the middle of a huge change and i can feel it. I love reading some blogs but it just seems like everyone is doing the same shit. Its all modcloth and bows and sock buns and shit. I'm not into it....Everyone does and says the same thing i am so uninspired. I stopped getting on tumblr as much even, theres hardly anything fun to see anymore! Even the funny stuff is kinda few and far between.

Currently have been loving GIRLS on HBO though especially this weeks episode when Marnie sang Kanye West and Daft Punk-Stronger in a really slow creepy way at her ex boyfriends office party hahahaha! Perf.

We've spent the past 8 days being sick seeing doctors taking medicine and kind of almost getting better. It has been rough to say the very least.

This means we were all sick for Valentins' birthday last friday, all weekend and at Yo Gabba Gabba live, and every other day this week. I was disapointed because we bought the Yo Gabba tickets to celebrate Valentins birthday and all of us being sick kind of took away from the specialness of the occasion. We're all starting to feel better now i just wanted to make my little guy so happy and its just a real shame he was not feeling well on his special day. 


I cannot believe it has been a year since i had my little boy, its been insane and wonderful all together, every day and i'm so glad that he's here, I thank god more than a few times a day for this amazing little guy.

Chris has been working later and sleeping more and he's super crabby all the time now i mean i don't blame him his schedule sucks right now i'm supportive, i still take him lunch every day but we've definitely had better times.

I spent all of wednesday with my good friend Melanie we hung out at her house for a good while then went to target because i had to buy a gift for our friend Sandra (aka my hero) She started teaching 1st grade this year and recently bought a house so she's having her housewarming party this saturday. I picked out a few things from her registry and one item that wasn't but i know she would totally love so i took it also. Melanie and I picked chris up during his lunch and we all had sushi little man loves miso soup so he had no complaints. Afterwards we dropped chris back at work and the 3 of us went to the park i was pushing Valentin on a swing while Mel and i just talked until it was dark. Spending the day with her was awesome bu now she's off with Amanda to Austin for SXSW which is awesome! I'm so excited for them plus Melanie could potentially be moving there pretty soon so she'll be scoping things out in the down time.

the desert is alive

Chris and I are planning our little mans 1st birthday party!!! His birthday is this friday the 8th, but we're having his party in April because our families will be vacationing over spring break. We decided on an indoor aquatic center with an INSANE kiddie pool I took one look at it and I knew our little man would be in heaven. Valentin was snoozing in his stroller during the tour so he didn't get a chance to see it. This little boy loooves to be in the water, I can't to see him having a blast!

El Paso is having a WXSW next week at Lowbrow and Black Market

I'm dead set on being there the 9th and 22nd. Bulletproof Tiger  has been one of my top 3 fave local bands for years now they are amazeballs. They always perform in these Tiger masks and they sound so groovy, its my favorite sound. Neon desert music festival is coming up also which we have been going to since the first show in 2011. That first lineup was ideal, at least for us. CSS,Omar Rodriguez Lopez,Designer Drugs, MSTRKRFT and lots more. Last year we bought VIP tickets which was ok honestly we didn't get as many of the perks that were supposed to come with it, and the lineup was kind of dissapointing there was very little variety, but i did enjoy The Twelves, Yacht, and Ghostland Observatory. This years lineup will be announced this wednesday and i hope its better than last years, then i guess we'll decide if the VIP admission is worth it.